Tara’s Top Ten Best Things About Columbus:
10. Once you’ve done summer in the ‘Sip, you’ll never complain about heat or humidity anywhere else ever again.
9. If you’ve always wanted to see a tornado, or learn about emergency procedures for tornadoes, Columbus is the place for you.
8. The odds are you’ll feel skinny in comparison to much of the population in the country’s most obese state. (Now if you want to be motivated by comparison, move to Colorado! Wow, everyone is so thin and fit there!)
7. If you’ve always preferred face-to-face or telephone interaction with businesses over the convenience of a website, or if you really miss the design of primitive, mid-nineties websites, just try to learn the hours of operation or an address for a business here!
6. For those who enjoy spending one day’s wages on watching football players who’ll look like ants from your one-day’s-wages seats, there are two D-1 SEC football teams within an hour’s drive of C-bus!
5. Once you’ve lived in the country’s poorest state for over a year, you’ll be AMAZED at how NEW and BEAUTIFUL and STYLISH all the construction and landscaping in most other cities seem by comparison. (With the noted exception of the antebellum mansions. Those are still gorgeous.)
4. On the off chance that you’ll be there for a snowstorm (like the blizzard of ’10–at least four inches), you will be straight-up heroic and brave for daring to leave your house to go to church, or the grocery store. Although if you’re smart you’ll stay home, because no one knows how to drive on slushy ice.
3. If you ever participate in a TV game show and an impossible question comes up such as: “What is the birthplace of Tennessee Williams?” or “What is the birthplace of Elvis Presley?”, you will know the answer!!
2. For those who’ve ever wondered if it might be fun to wear a hoop skirt and a big dress for a couple days–and let’s be honest: anyone who’s read Little House on the Prairie or seen Gone With the Wind has–Columbus provides a perfectly socially acceptable answer to your curiosity!
1. If you’ve ever gone out to dinner with a couple friends and thought that the hour passed much too quickly, you would love Columbus! In many of the restaurants here, it could take twice that long to get a table, wait fifteen minutes, someone says hello, wait fifteen minutes, someone takes your drink order, wait fifteen minutes, and so on.